Anaconda (2025) is directed by Tim Gormican, who also wrote the film alongside Kevin Etten. It stars Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Thandiwe Newton, Steve Zahn, Daniela Melchior, Selton Mello, Ione Sky, Rui Ricardo Diaz, John Billingsley, Sebastian Sero, Diego Arnary, Dan Silveira, and Anna Francesca Armenia. The film follows childhood friends Doug McCallister (Black) and Ronald Griffin Jr. (Rudd) after one of them acquires the legal rights to the 1991 “so bad, it’s good” creature feature, Anaconda (1991). Accompanied by their old friend, Claire (Newton), and Kenny (Zahn), a dim-witted videographer, the two amateur directors travel to the Amazon to reboot their newly owned IP as a gritty independent film. They soon meet up with eccentric snake handler Santiago Braga (Mello), but things quickly go south when their captain, Ana (Melchior), makes them the target of illegal gold miners. However, these criminals become the least of their concerns when they realize that, just like in the 1991 film, they’re being stalked by a monstrous anaconda they believed was only a myth. 

I won’t disagree with anyone who claims that a majority of this script is idiotic. That being said, the inclusion of Paul Rudd, Jack Black, and Steve Zahn is a stroke of genius from the casting department. Each has extensive experience in comedy, but more specifically in this film’s brand of dumb “goofballery.” They make up for much of what the script lacks comedically through their general physicality and zany, humorous delivery. This film made me laugh quite a bit, despite recognizing how stupid, mean-spirited, and lazy most of the jokes actually are. For example, there’s nothing hilarious about a recurring joke that essentially just asks us to laugh at Kenny’s severe alcoholism. That being said, Steve Zahn’s awkwardly silly, almost shy delivery is both off-kilter and weirdly adorable to the point that you can’t help but at least chuckle.

Most of the performances are energetic, suggesting the cast had a blast while filming. I typically don’t care whether the cast had fun being significantly overpaid to play make-believe, but it always catches my attention when that good energy bears fruit on screen. Unfortunately, beyond a compelling setup between Doug and Ronald, the characters are extremely surface-level and don’t undergo any meaningful arcs. On one hand, I don’t think this kind of low-IQ experience could’ve held my attention for a second longer than its 100-minute runtime. On the other hand, I think a little more time dedicated to fleshing out the characters could’ve improved the experience. Either way, I don’t think an extra 10 minutes would’ve immediately made this some kind of transcendent comedic masterpiece anyway.       

If you’re disappointed that this film contains minimal horror, then I’m certain you’ve either never seen the original or just aren’t much of a fan. If you truly love the original Anaconda, there’s a 99.5% chance it’s because you think it’s hilariously bad in the best way possible. The horror in this series doesn’t work, and it never did, so the critics who poo-hoo this film for not being scary clearly don’t understand what’s special about the IP. Going full comedy was the correct choice. Plus, it doesn’t actually sacrifice much man-eating snake madness. 

Despite the comedy mostly being dim-witted, there’s one particular sequence in the third act that had my entire theater in stitches, despite the majority of it being spoiled in the film’s trailers. It’s the type of dark comedy that’s so well set up and executed, it still lands even if you know exactly what happens. Watching Jack Black sprint for his life in extra small kakhi shorts is, on its own, a gut-busting visual, but it’s only one piece of what makes the sequence so hilarious. I’ll leave it at that; enough of this movie has been spoiled already. 

Overall, this is a juvenile, crude, and generally stupid take on Anaconda that still had me chuckling regularly due to its spirited performances and fun meta elements. It’s also clear that director Tim Gormican understands what makes the original 1991 film so beloved to bad-movie purists like me. That said, an intentionally bad film such as this can never replicate the rare joy of a movie that wholeheartedly wants to be good, fails miserably, and, in doing so, ends up being good in a completely different way. A lot of fellow critics seem to be trashing the film, and honestly, I can’t really blame them. It’s definitely slop, but easily my favorite kind. I’ll eat it up and ask for seconds any day of the week, but I’m not sure if it’s because the film is actually fun, or if I just really adore movies with giant, man-eating serpents. C+