Eenie Meanie (2025) is written & directed by Shawn Simmons. It stars Samara Weaving, Karl Glusman, Andy Garcia, Steve Zahn, Marshawn Lynch, Jermaine Fowler, Randall Park, Mike O’Malley, Kyanna Simone, Chris Bauer, Phuong Kubacki, Rob Grant, Davis Aguila, Jon Elliott, Sarah Alaina, Nicolas Bosc, and Anjanette Hall. The film follows Edie Meaney (Weaving), a former getaway driver who returns to her old ways when John (Glusman), her unpredictable yet immensely loyal ex-boyfriend, finds himself in trouble after a robbery gone wrong. While planning her crew’s biggest heist yet, John’s increasingly erratic behavior forces Edie to consider whether their romance is ultimately something worth saving.

Even though this fails to be one of her better performances, Samara Weaving once again proves herself to be a capable lead. Her supposedly American accent is noticeably Australian at times, and Edie isn’t a particularly memorable character, but Weaving nonetheless injects her with a lot of contagious energy. In other words, her natural likability and core acting skills (other than her accent) elevate the character. She’s a true movie star; It’s just too bad Hollywood doesn’t seem to realize. 

Karl Glusman is a skilled actor, and he clearly gives his best effort as John; He just feels slightly miscast. His dramatic chops help him nail the character’s emotional moments, which effectively establish the complex feelings we and Edie are supposed to have about him; however, he’s simply not believable as an impulsive killer. Additionally, the early scenes appear to be confused about how to characterize him. For example, when the robbery goes south, John reacts in a way that evokes a character who’s more of a goofy dunce than the violent brute the rest of the film tries to paint him as. This makes sense, considering that he’s designed to be unpredictable; however, the shaky execution instead results in a character who’s inconsistent.

Andy Garcia, Jermaine Fowler, and Randall Park are serviceable in their supporting roles, but Steve Zahn is the standout. As Edie’s estranged father, he gives an unexpectedly heartbreaking performance. This helps highlight the character’s connection to the film’s overarching themes of toxic relationships, which otherwise would’ve been annoyingly surface-level. The only casting that doesn’t work is Marshawn Lynch as the film’s secondary villain. He’s never been a particularly awful actor, but describing what he does as ‘acting’ feels like an exaggeration. He once again plays himself, but a version who is cool, calm, and collected. Ahh, yes, just what we all wanted: The famous football player known as ‘Beast Mode’ playing a character who acts like a boring aristocrat. I suppose it makes sense that the only films I see him in are the ones released straight to streaming. Need someone recognizable and likable, but cheap? Marshawn’s waiting for the call. 

The film’s many car chase-centric action sequences aren’t even close to being mind-blowing, but they should satisfy anyone who considers that the priority. We’ve seen this kind of ‘pulled back into a life of crime’ heist movie countless times in recent years alone, but there are a few key elements that make this one stand out. These don’t necessarily improve the experience, but I do appreciate the filmmaker’s attempt to approach this otherwise stock material from an original angle. Compared to similar films, this has a much heavier focus on its characters and their various arcs. This clarifies its message, but ultimately fails to evoke a genuine concern for what happens to these characters. If this approach isn’t achieving what it’s supposed to, I’d much rather have some mindless action in its place. At least that’s entertaining in a “shut your brain off” sort of way. 

Although mostly well-handled, the theme of toxic relationships can’t overcome the fact that it’s one of the most overplayed subjects in modern cinema. It doesn’t matter how observant the film is about these themes when it all just feels like overkill. Even if you have the most agreeable and vital message on Earth, it’ll eventually be annoying to hear about. It’s like a parent reminding their 35-year-old kin to brush their teeth before bed. You know they mean well, but it also feels like they think you’re kind of dumb. 

Overall, this is just another stock, straight-to-streaming action-comedy that’s only slightly elevated by Samara Weaving as its lead. It’s an inoffensive way to kill two hours, and proves that the director can capably blend story and theme in a way that’s natural and clear; I just wish each element were stronger individually. If you enjoy this kind of heist film, it’ll easily consume two hours. For everyone else, it’ll probably just put you to sleep. C