Old Guy (2025) is directed by Simon West and written by Greg Johnson. It stars Christoph Waltz, Lucy Liu, Cooper Hoffman, Karishma Navekar, Desmond Edwards, Ryan McParland, Ann Akinjirin, Tamara Chanel White, Jason Done, Lauterio Zamparelli, Tony Hirst, Kate Katzman, Conor Mullen, Tibu Fortes, and Adam Murphy. The story follows Danny Dolinski (Waltz), an aging contract killer forced to train Wihlborg (Hoffman), a Gen Z hitman prodigy set to be his replacement. After the two learn to collaborate even though they annoy the crap out of one another, they’re assigned to a seemingly straightforward job involving Anata (Liu), Danny’s best friend/love interest. When the job inevitably spirals out of control, Danny is forced to come to terms with both his romantic feelings for Anata and his fraternal feelings for Wihlborg. 

Although the script doesn’t give the three leads much to work with, it’s clear that they are true professionals who are giving it their all. In the context of crime comedies, Christoph Waltz feels perfectly cast as this kind of aging hitman character. As for Cooper Hoffman, he once again proves to be an extremely talented dramatic actor who easily elevates the script’s more serious moments. The problem is, he’s a complete dud comedically. Besides a silly, exaggerated Gen Z outfit, the film never seems interested in leaning into the kinds of jokes the premise would suggest. The script’s weak jokes don’t do the cast any favors and ultimately just make the viewer wonder why the filmmakers chose to make this an action-comedy in the first place. It’s not a great drama, but it’s clear that the film’s more serious-minded ambitions are much stronger than its comedic ones. The flat, inconsistent humor only serves to undermine what the movie is clearly trying to be. In fact, nothing proves this better than Lucy Liu’s performance/character. Because she’s mostly saved for emotional and serious moments, her character never feels unbalanced, unlike the other two. That being said, all three of these characters are ultimately forgettable because nothing about them is particularly original or deep. 

The film is as predictable as can be and features cliché after cliché after cliché. The action is nothing special, the tone feels inappropriate, and it generally tries way too hard to be cool. The almost cartoonishly jazzy score feels like something from a full-on parody of classic noir films, but the movie forgets that lacking originality is just about the least cool thing it can be. You can show me a potato in front of flashy lights while funky music is playing, berate me about how cool it is, then torture me to admit it myself, but I NEVER would. Disingenuous cool-guy energy plus uncool material only equals an end product twice as uncool. 

Overall, this is an oddly paced, tonally confused action-comedy that’s devoid of real laughs. It avoids being a total piece of crap due to its talented cast and accessibility to audiences with short attention spans. Other than that, it’s mostly just a crime movie cliche extravaganza that’s ultimately more watchable than most films of a similar quality. You probably won’t despise it, but your chances of remembering it are about 7%. C-