Nutcrackers (2024) is directed by David Gordon Green and stars Ben Stiller, Homer Janson, Ulysses Janson, Arlo Janson, Atlas Janson, Linda Cardellini, Toby Huss, Edi Patterson, Tim Heidecker, Ari Graynor, Ashley Rae Spillers, and Lucy Zukaitis. The film follows Mike Maxwell (Stiller), a successful real estate agent on the verge of his biggest sale who’s forced to care for his late sister’s four rowdy children. Through various unhinged scenarios, Mike and the kids form a unique connection that teaches them how to be better people. When Mike has to decide whether to stay with the kids or place them in foster care, his ideas of “family” are put to the test. 

Stiller plays the sort of annoyed comedic lead that has always been his bread and butter, but he’s undeniably a good fit for the role. That being said, I wish the script would’ve asked such a skilled comedic actor to put more of the comedic load on his shoulders. His performance does nothing to elevate the few jokes the film has to offer. Although he’s capable dramatically, it’s not impressive. All in all, it just feels like a severely missed opportunity. 

The kids played by the Janson family are unique in the sense that they’re a little bit more backwoods/rural than most child characters. Although they’re pretty much just bratty kids for the first two acts, the script does a decent job of turning those impressions on their heads in the third. That being said, it still feels like it’s “too little, too late.” Sentimental portrayal in the final act doesn’t fully make up for how grating they are for the majority of the film. 

Although the film’s premise/themes are fitting for its Holiday setting, there’s oddly a distinct lack of Christmas vibes. There’s no snow, there’s little connection to Christmas festivities, and the climactic sequence built around The Nutcracker is silly and uninspired. Why does Holywood think interpretive dances are an entertaining climax – especially when they’re not particularly comedic? 

Although the setup/premise is fitting, it’s one that we’ve seen countless times before. It’s so familiar, in fact, it’s clear after the first fifteen minutes EXACTLY what’s going to happen by the the end of the film. Although it’s executed well, it can’t get past the fact that it’s completely unoriginal. The jokes don’t land, the characters are generic at best, and the plot doesn’t breed a single unique sequence/scenario. It’s never bad, but it also feels soulless. It’s as if the filmmakers were so concerned about alienating the viewer that they forgot to take any interesting risks. 

At the very least, it’s nice to see director David Gordon Green step away from his work on the Halloween films and go back to a story that’s more in his creative wheelhouse – a rural American setting that reveals the hidden beauty of what many see as dirty or disenfranchised. 

Overall, this is a consistently inoffensive yet by extension unoriginal and boring holiday tear-jerker that probably won’t jerk as many tears as it intends to. Stiller feels wasted comedically, but the script never felt very funny to begin with. When you consider that it’s not very effective in a dramatic sense as well, it just makes the viewer wonder what the point was to begin with. It feels like an easy paycheck for an actor and director to make a movie that fits nicely into the studio’s holiday streaming lineup. Forgettable and then some… C-