Red One (2024) is directed by Jake Kasdan and stars Chris Evans, Dwayne Johnson, Kiernan Shipka, Lucy Liu, J.K. Simmons, Wesley Kimmel, Bonnie Hunt, Kristofer Hivju, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, and Nick Kroll. The film follows Jack O’Malley (Evans), a skilled but immature tracker who is recruited by Callum Drift (Johnson), the head of the North Pole’s security team, to help save Santa Claus (Simmons) after he’s kidnapped by Gryla (Shipka), a demon who hates Christmas. The two proceed to embark on a globetrotting mission to save Santa, but along the way learn a thing or two about the meaning of Christmas. 

Evans is well-cast as this kind of childish action hero. Before known to the masses as Steve Rogers/Captain America, these are the kinds of roles he excelled at, so it’s a nice little throwback to see him in this wheelhouse once again. Johnson does his typical action-hero schtick, which is pretty disappointing, but it’s clear that the role was written with him in mind. If the movie rested solely on his shoulders, I probably would have been bored to death. Thankfully, he and Evans are perfect foils for one another. It slightly reminds me of one of my favorite buddy movies that likewise stars Johnson: The Rundown (2003). 

As for my opinion on J.K. Simmons’ version of Santa, I’m a bit mixed. He often comes across more as the president of the United States as opposed to Jolly Ol’ St. Nick. I understand the references to Air Force One (1997), but I think a more recognizable version of the character would help to balance the special agent vibe everyone around him gives off. I like the idea of Santa having a secret service, but I don’t like the idea of Santa being a secret agent himself.

The one performance I’m not mixed on, however, is Kiernan Shipka as the film’s villain, Gryla. I think it’s horrible. I consider Shipka one of the better young actresses working today, but she’s terribly miscast and fails to be an intimidating presence in even the smallest of ways. The only thing she does is smile creepily and whine like a teenager.

The action sequences are serviceable and creative. For example, I appreciate the script’s use of iconic Christmas toys such as a sequence involving sentient, life-sized rock em’ sock em’ robots. It also properly delivers the necessary holiday vibes. At its core, it essentially feels like a studio-written Marvel film only distinguished by its Holiday vibes. It’s not much, but it does work in the film’s favor. 

Unfortunately, the film’s use of CGI is heavy-handed and although it looks ok for the most part, it ends up being overwhelming – like I’m staring at a trippy light show. I also don’t understand why then, if the visual effects budget isn’t an issue, is the cool CGI polar bear character forgotten about almost as soon as he’s introduced? I mean, c’mon. It was marketed as a selling point. 

Overall, this is yet another soulless, 4-quadrant studio blockbuster that’s only saved by the chemistry between its two leads and its palpable Christmas vibes. Certain viewers are sure to consider this “dumb fun,” but I found it to be “lazy dumb.” For example, the one-liner used on the film’s villain is, “Merry Christmas, witch.” You know, like “Merry Christmas, bitch.” Are you laughing? I’m not. People who see three movies a year are sure to have a decent time; everyone else will be rolling their eyes. C